Home Archive Games Utils Paintings About Contact
May 21, 2017

A missing friend

The mist lay like a thick blanket over the trees that surrounded him. The sky was dark, purple and a heavy yellow moon hung high above. At first everything was quiet, but gradually the wind began picking up speed until it howled and the light drizzle turned into rain that whipped and whipped against his skin. Lightning struck, many bolts, coming closer. He was getting very cold, shivering.

A deafening sound, a blinding light and all around him the trees exploded into fire. "WHERE AM I?" he screamed, terrified. Lightning struck again and again. Eventually it formed a standing wall of vertical bolts, shaped like a circle, in which he was trapped. The electric and fiery light shone like flickering floodlights.

In this beyond surreal world he sat down on his knees, whimpering. From outside the wall of flames and bolts a hand reached out to him, as if it wanted him to grab it. He hesitated, and then went for it. He grabbed and pulled. The body to which the hand was attached flew towards him, midair the head looked up. It was badly scorched. No hair, the skin cracked and dry. He sat huddled in the middle of this electric inferno, screaming in horror, looking at the body of his long-gone friend.

May 17, 2017

Sleeping is hard

There is something truly annoying about having lots of things to do, going to bed and then finding yourself wide awake, hoping that it'll be morning soon so you can do those things. After lying there for three hours and coming to the conclusion that your sleeping isn't going so well you think "well maybe I should go up and do that thing!" but now you've been in bed for so long that it would be ludicrous to do so! You might fall asleep at any moment. Now you become irritated that you wasted all these hours lying in bed, not sleeping when you could have done that thing. Now you're just upset instead, sleep becoming even harder to achieve. About an hour after this you fall asleep and you wake up at shit o'clock.

Annoying, isn't it?

May 9, 2017

The threshold of calm

I like taking walks, for many reasons. Maybe I was fed up with whatever I was doing, maybe I needed some air.

Sometimes I take walks because it feels like there's something heavy inside my chest, a kind of unrest. At those moments I try taking really deep breaths, because it feels like it might help. It feels like the depth of my breaths—how filled my lungs get—have a threshold. It feels like if a single breath was to get past that threshold, the heavy feeling would subside.

So it's not unusual for me to find myself walking around, breathing deeply, focused, hunting for that threshold. If I'm unlucky, the heaviness stays. But in a few cases, after walking around outside for a couple of minutes, I successfully inhale so deeply that the threshold is overwon and during the following exhale I feel a big, fuzzy calm take hold of me.

I like those moments.

May 7, 2017

A short life and a pile of papers

I have pages upon pages of short stories, lyrics, thoughts and feelings written down. On pieces of papers scattered throughout my bedroom. On my computers.

Throughout my twenties I have attempted a lot of hobbies. I recently realized that the only one—except fiddling around with computers and playing guitar—that has stuck around is writing. It comes to me naturally to just start typing or writing whenever I feel empty inside or when something huge wants to come out.

This realization made me think that it's probably better for me to focus on the hobbies that come naturally by having the tools around to do them. If it's painting or drawing, I'll have those tools around me. If it's playing music, I'll have my instruments at hand. I'll surround myself with the stuff I need in order to spontaneously do the things I might like.

If I surround myself with these things without anything happening, I will not attempt to force it anymore. Life is too short for that.

May 4, 2017

Tock tock tocktock

He strolled down the street, next to the buildings which housed students. His clothes consisted of a tracksuit, and the blond hair was in a bun on the top back of his head, as was fashionable at the time.

His steps were casual. He was eating a banana. When the banana was almost consumed, maybe having 1/3 left of it's fruity innards, he saw someone approach him down the street. The person approaching was to him unknown, and he held IKEA-bags. The bags were presumably filled with clothes, as revealed by him heading for the small house in which laundry was done.

The person with the bun, tracksuit and banana froze in his walk. The laundry man looked up, confused. As if entering a battle stance the frozen man aggressively threw his almost eaten banana in the ground and produced, maybe hidden in his other hand, maybe from his pockets, two small wooden sticks. The stick were about 20 centimeters long, maybe 2 centimeters in diameter and were covered with really beautiful carvings.

While in this battle stance, with the laundry man by now looking slightly afraid, he began hitting the sticks together, over his head, playing a kind of catchy rhythm "tock tock tocktock, tock tock tocktock, tock tock tocktock". Holding his legs stiff and shuffling around, he moved around like a monkey hitting two interesting items together in the hopes of scaring something away (or something, I don't know anything about monkeys!).

By now the laundry man found the whole situation slightly uncomfortable. He did not seem to know or recall ever meeting this track-suited loony. The door to the laundry was closer to him, and he went towards it, going out of sight from the other. The man with the sticks immediately stopped playing. But before being able to enter the laundry house, the man with the sticks had rounded the corner of the building, seen the man again and jumped straight into the same pose and played his melody until the other disappeared into the laundry house with his IKEA-bags.

The man in the tracksuit was later seen standing still on a lawn, checking his phone, during a hail storm.

The situation above was seen from my bedroom window

Newer postsOlder posts